Monday, February 21, 2005

An attempt at brevity



I know, I know, it's been forever since I last posted. You're probably thinking I "took the plunge" and then disappeared off the face of the earth! haha. Well, here I am. I am going to try to briefly recap the past few months, but we'll see how brief it actually turns out to be...

Looking back, God has done so much in my life in the past year. By taking a step of faith, I allowed God to really begin to set me free from things that were holding me back.

I quit my job and went to a different one (though that didn't last too long, it was still an important step). I went back to school fulltime after only taking classes here and there for the past 3 years. I went back to my original major, my passion...music.

My first semester back in school was really good for me in a number of ways. First off, I was getting back to my passion--the love for music that God put inside me. I was kind of shy and nervous about performing again, but over the course of the semester, God developed a lot of confidence in me in numerous ways.

I hadn't been in much contact with the "outside world" for quite some time, having been working in a small office for so long and being homeschooled prior to that. So I really grew socially as well, getting to know my fellow music majors. What helped a lot was the intimate feel of the music department and seeing classmates hanging around all the time, either between or in classes.

In the middle of the semester, I went to the women's encounter weekend, and that really was a turning point for me. The things from my past that were holding me back were broken and I have felt so much freer since then. God really prepared me in a lot of ways for that weekend and has been keeping me close since.

I've learned to really listen to God and to seek Him more than ever. I've learned to be confident in who He created me to be, not letting myself be swayed by what other people expect of me.

Over Christmas break and since, God has led me into a situation I never thought I'd be in. I have had to keep myself surrendered to Him with this. It's challenging sometimes to know that I am following God's will, when other people don't agree, even those I respect. I thank God for the close friends who love Him as well and know me well enough to know to keep me accountable while allowing for God to be working in unusual ways. I can't deny the fruit that has come out of this situation and I just continue to seek God daily and keep myself and the situation surrendered to Him.

I suppose what I have learned in all this is that God is the one I need to listen to above all. I know I may make mistakes, as does everyone, but I have put my trust in Him alone. As long as I stay connected to Him, I can trust that I am hearing His voice and following His lead in my life.

~M

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