*Collapse*

I think my ability to deal with all that life is throwing me at the moment is becoming less and less.

I feel like I have so many things coming at me that I may crumple. Thankfully, God's grace sustains me and He also has given me a wonderful man who is there for me when I really need him to be.

All this is teaching me the importance of spending good time with God, no matter how busy I am, because I simply can't survive without His guidance and help. I'm not necessarily doing so great, but I continue to improve.

The funny thing is, I think the more I grow and learn, the more I realize how far away from perfection I truly am. I know so many people, myself included, who feel like they are moving backwards in their relationship with God. I don't think it's so much that, as I growing realization of how far from perfection we are, and how much we really need God. I think that the more we realize how far we are from God, the more we want to pursue Him and get closer to Him, and the more He works in our lives, whether we realize it or not.

I have a feeling that God is doing things in my life that I don't realize at all. Thankfully, it doesn't all fall on my shoulders, really. All I have to do is obey Him and let him do the rest.

I read the August 1st entry in "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers and it really spoke about this matter:

Learning About His Ways

When Jesus finished commanding His twelve disciples . . . He departed from there to teach and to preach in their cities
—Matthew 11:1

He comes where He commands us to leave. If you stayed home when God told you to go because you were so concerned about your own people there, then you actually robbed them of the teaching of Jesus Christ Himself. When you obeyed and left all the consequences to God, the Lord went into your city to teach, but as long as you were disobedient, you blocked His way. Watch where you begin to debate with Him and put what you call your duty into competition with His commands. If you say, "I know that He told me to go, but my duty is here," it simply means that you do not believe that Jesus means what He says.

He teaches where He instructs us not to teach. "Master . . . let us make three tabernacles . . ." ( Luke 9:33 ).

Are we playing the part of an amateur providence, trying to play God’s role in the lives of others? Are we so noisy in our instruction of other people that God cannot get near them? We must learn to keep our mouths shut and our spirits alert. God wants to instruct us regarding His Son, and He wants to turn our times of prayer into mounts of transfiguration. When we become certain that God is going to work in a particular way, He will never work in that way again.

He works where He sends us to wait. ". . . tarry . . . until . . ." ( Luke 24:49 ). "Wait on the Lord" and He will work ( Psalm 37:34 ). But don’t wait sulking spiritually and feeling sorry for yourself, just because you can’t see one inch in front of you! Are we detached enough from our own spiritual fits of emotion to "wait patiently for Him"? ( Psalm 37:7 ). Waiting is not sitting with folded hands doing nothing, but it is learning to do what we are told.

These are some of the facets of His ways that we rarely recognize.

~M