The numbered questions/notes are PB's and the responses are mine...his original post is linked above.
1. Do we subtly want our leaders to be inhuman?
I think that many do. My guess is that the root is that people want a connection with God and end up placing a pastor in an idolatrous position, rather than seeing them for who they are: humans who make mistakes and are on this journey with us. What they really need is JESUS in that place of leadership in their lives, rather than relying on the leader to facilitate their relationship with God (directly or indirectly) to the point that they
I touched on this in my own blog today, but I personally feel *closer* to leadership that ARE human. I feel like I can relate more and in a sense trust that leader more because I know they’ve gone through the things I go through in my attempts to get closer to God and learn more about who he is and what that means in my life and my actions.
On a personal and specific level, I love that you pastor in a way that you are honest about your searching, your doubts, your failing and weaknesses (obviously not telling us everything…some things should only be for close, trusted mentors and friends). I think that makes a stronger spiritual leader, because you are allowing God to be glorified, rather than yourself. Plus, I appreciate knowing how I can pray for you more effectively.
I think showing honesty, brokenness, and a lack of knowledge as a spiritual leader (thereby allowing God to work through it) is one of those things that can only make sense in the Kingdom of God, because the world will think us foolish. Somehow, I am drawn to leaders who confess, even on a “small” level of their failings because I know they are being genuine.
2. Should the pastor confess to others in the local faith community?
I think the answer to this lies in what kind of relationships are fostered within that community. I think that pastors may be surprised at how people will support them in their struggles. But it depends on the person with whom they foster that relationship.
There may be issues that come up specifically within leadership that only other leaders will fully understand, just as there are issues within every person’s life that only someone else who’s walked in those shoes can understand (a few that come to mind are marriage, parenthood, death of a loved one, gender differences, age, different work experiences), though someone who hasn’t may be able to empathize.
No matter what our own personal and differing experiences may be, anyone can pray for another person! And that is the most powerful thing, because it allows God to do the work.
3. The myth of “up the ladder” confession.
I totally know what you mean, even without specifically being in leadership. I think there is a built in fear of being truly vulnerable (and confession is definitely that!) to someone in a position “above” you, not to mention the complexity of different relationship “hats” like you mentioned. I can understand to a degree, as someone in a relationship that takes on two different expressions (work and family) and how the mixture can create tension in either or both expressions because of that blurring of lines.
4. Pastors without peers.
The buddy-buddy thing so many church communities have has never failed to bug the hell out of me. I always get excited to see pastors of different communities come together to share life and share the unique challenges and joys you share…and especially to pray for one another and the Church as a whole. A separated church was not God’s intention, and I don’t see isolated pastors as being part of his intention either. I’m glad you take time to foster relationship with other young leaders in our community in a joint effort.
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On a personal note, my prayer for you and other leaders is that you’d find true fellowship and friendship and that would pave the way in creating real relationships and fostering honesty and that God would pour out grace upon you in this area. I think you have paved the way already…certainly much more than I’ve ever seen in any other leader that I’ve known.
I think the first steps in that are to encourage that within the community you lead, and because Aqueous is so community-based, I think that there is much more of a “friendly” environment in terms of confessing and receiving grace, no matter if you’re a leader or not.
~Marieke
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