I've been discovering the joy of contentment lately...and it's not like my life is full of sunshine and roses right now, either. I've been processing a lot spiritually and mentally, on top of preparing for some huge life change (the big move).
Content with lessThe biggest thing that I've noticed is that I don't feel the same need to have new things that I used to. I still like shopping (especially for yarn and other craft stuff) but because we've been watching our pennies a bit more closely, I've realized that I don't really need much. I probably have a year's worth of yarn at least if I just put my mind to actually using it. And when I do decide to spend a little money on something, it is more often than not something I will use and enjoy, rather than a frivolous purchase.
Since I'm spending less, the desire to actually buy new things has been quelled a bit. I've been finding myself re-purposing items, finding new ways to use old things, and realizing how little I really need even of the things I have.
As I've been sorting out our belongings into what we really want to keep and what we don't need, it's been a joy to give things away to people who will use them and enjoy them more than I will, or use them for a better purpose (like sewing supplies to a woman who teaches kids to sew, or kitchen items to my sister who runs a house for international students).
The goal with our move is to end up with less stuff than we have right now so we don't move crap we'll never use or don't need. And in the process, I've found that there is peace is minimizing and getting rid of the distractions that clutter not only physical space, but mental space as well.
I don't have the same desire to bigger and better things. With a 425 square foot apartment, I do hope that we'll have a slightly larger place considering our menagerie of musical equipment (electric piano and music production equipment) that takes up space, but I don't have a desire for a huge house or anything. Just something that suits our needs and allows us to offer hospitality to the hundreds of people who want to come visit us! LOL
Content with unrestA lot has been going on. This is a huge move for me, considering I've never moved further than 5 miles from my childhood home. It's the first time I'm moving out of my beautiful hometown in the nearly 24 years I've lived here. It's a bit scary. It's caused tension and lots of unrest.
There are things in our lives that aren't perfect and never will be. There are issues coming to the surface, and there are difficulties to work through. There are things that have to be put on the backburner. But despite the impending changes, and the desires to work towards other changes (like getting more toned and less flabby), I feel content about where we're at. It doesn't need to be perfect. There is joy in the journey and I know that God has us close to Him.
This honestly really surprises me because I can be such a perfectionist and such a stress-case. And while I still am at times, something has shifted in my spirit to where I recognize that I am right where God wants me, in my imperfection, and He will bring it all to good. I just need to look at what He's doing and step into the center of His will for me. He knows what I need and when. He knows when I'll be ready for the next thing He's got going on.
And I am finding that there is contentment in just holding His hand as He makes sense of all the craziness.
