Taking the Plunge

Well, I have officially taken the plunge and I'll be going through some changes in the next few weeks. I am just hoping that my relationships with family don't suffer for it in the long run.

Interestingly enough, last night God really spoke to me about trust during my devotional time. I finally realized that deep down, I hadn't reached a level of trust that I thought I had; that some of my fears and insecurities about myself, about my future, are based on a lack of trust in God. That I have a certain lack of faith in that I don't really believe, in practice, that God knows what's best for me.

Realizing these things, I had to surrender more of myself to Him, and he blessed me with more faith in His provision and protection of and for me.

As long as I cling to Him, all is well.

Psalm 56:1-4

Be gracious to me, O God, for man has trampled upon me;
Fighting all day long he oppresses me.

My foes have trampled upon me all day long,
for they are many who fight proudly against me.

When I am afraid,
I will put my trust in You.

In God, whose word I praise,
In God I have put my trust;
I shall not be afraid.
What can mere man do to me?

Hope of things to come

"Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit will brim over with hope" Rom 15:13 The Message

I read this passage a few days ago in our daily Bible-reading plan (which I am not always caught up with, but I'm getting better at that), and the freshness of the Message version struck me.

We as christians are given the Holy Spirit to guide us and to contend for us when we don't know what to contend for, among other things. The Holy Spirit fills us with life and energy, yet so often we live defeated lives, struck down by the mundane of everyday life, by complacency and lack of motivation.

Yet, really, we are given the Holy Spirit is there offering is hope, vibrant life, and abundant energy. It's like we see the gift sitting there on the table, yet never open it. How dumb is that?

In my own life, I feel like I am in an "upswing" spiritually. I had kinda fallen a bit to a place where I wasn't super close to God, just sorta barely maintaining, but God kicked my butt outta that place, and I'm moving back closer to Him again.

Really, our journeys are often made up of times where we sorta feel like we're moving backwards, when really, it's kinda like parts of the journey just overlap each other. It may be that there are lessons that we are just not learning that God wants to teach us, or weaknesses that take us back a few steps, but I find that in the end, I am always closer to God, always learning more about His character and holiness.

We are humans, and we will fail and fall, but by the grace of God, each time we get up, we find ourselves closer to Him. And that is why (well, one of the reasons why) our God is so awesome.