I am a blog addict!

Yup, I have created another blog on top of the two I update regularly.

http://nathanandmarieke.wordpress.com

I designed it to keep family and friends updated on what's up as Nathan and I get ready and move to San Francisco. I'm gonna start by giving info on our preparations (apartment hunting, visiting the schools and whatnot) and then what comes up after we move. Hopefully both of us will update it, depending on what's going on.

(I also have an option for people who want to get the info via email if that's easier for ya.)

I will still be regularly updating this blog and "Work in Progress" through the summer, and hopefully beyond since these are more personal ones.

Overwhelmed

Psalm 57

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy!
I look to you for protection.
I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings
until the danger passes by.
I cry out to God Most High,
to God who will fulfill his purpose for me.
He will send help from heaven to rescue me,
disgracing those who hound me.
Interlude

My God will send forth his unfailing love and faithfulness.

I am surrounded by fierce lions
who greedily devour human prey—
whose teeth pierce like spears and arrows,
and whose tongues cut like swords.

Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens!
May your glory shine over all the earth.

My enemies have set a trap for me.
I am weary from distress.
They have dug a deep pit in my path,
but they themselves have fallen into it.
Interlude

My heart is confident in you, O God;
my heart is confident.
No wonder I can sing your praises!
Wake up, my heart!
Wake up, O lyre and harp!
I will wake the dawn with my song.
I will thank you, Lord, among all the people.
I will sing your praises among the nations.
For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens.
Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens.
May your glory shine over all the earth.

Wow, this decision to go to school full-time in the Fall (well, for both of us to go) has proven to be quite challenging. A lot of hurdles have popped up and it's gotten a tad overwhelming due to the urgent nature of it all, at least for the next few weeks. This Psalm has spoken to me so many times over the course of my life that it's become my favorite, especially with the references to music (for obvious reasons!). I was feeling particularly overwhelmed when I went home for lunch and I felt drawn to read this out loud. I couldn't help but cry as I read it.

The desire of my heart is to use music to bring glory to God. If someone realizes the depth of God's love for them more deeply because of my music, that is all I can hope for. I know that God has gifted me in this area for a purpose and it has been so frustrating to feel like the dreams that God's put on my heart get pushed further away from my reach.

Before, when challenges on the educational front came up, I fought it as much as I could, but eventually have to give up, at least temporarily. But now I'm in a position in life where I have more freedom than I've had before to pursue my educational dreams, and to have hurdles come up again is so frustrating. I am both weary of the fight and even more determined to fight for what I believe God is leading me to. Granted, I know that God could again have other plans for me and for Nathan, but I'm gonna keep fighting in the direction God's given us unless it becomes obvious that God has other plans.

If you think of it, please pray for us. Nathan's school shouldn't be an issue, but I will have to get an exception from the Director of the Music Dept in order to be able to transfer to the school I hope to eventually get my degree from (San Francisco State University). God's already given me someone "on my side" in Dr. Josh Habermann (Choir Director and Advisor for voice students - who is friends with my choir director here at SBCC, Nathan Kreitzer) who has taken up my cause on the recommendation of Prof Kreitzer. I also have very good grades on my side (Thank you Jesus!)

However, I have to give a strong audition (vocal performance), as well as take placement tests for musicianship and theory, and piano. Normally, placement tests would be just that. But since I'm trying to get an exception, my test scores will have some bearing in the decision.

I have been out of practice in all these areas for a year and I only have THREE WEEKS to prepare! I'm also hoping to get a scholarship, which will also be determined by my audition. Be praying for me on February 22nd in particular (the day of the tests and audition). I'm gonna need it!

Thankfully, the faculty at SBCC are incredibly helpful and I should be able to get all the help I need through them. There are just so many details, especially with applying for financial aid. And I'm trying to get used to being in school while working fulltime on top of making sure I have time for my husband.

It'll be a miracle in and of itself if I don't have a mental breakdown in the next few weeks.

Jumping off the cliff

Aaaaaahhhhh!

I am both excited and a little nervous about it, but we've decided to take the leap and move up to San Francisco (probably in August) and both pursue school fulltime. We took all day Saturday to talk, reconnect, and discuss the future. It was time well-spent and I think we both realized that this is the path we need to take, whether it may lead.

We both feel a lot of peace about living in the SF area, and in our choice of schools, etc. Nathan will be going to Ex'pression College for Digital Arts and I'm hoping to be able to get into San Francisco State (I'm still not 100% decided - and I'm not even totally sure I CAN transfer there yet - since I've got a little researching to do).

Nathan mentioned it to a trusted friend of his at church and his friend said that SF would be the best place for us to go. It was an awesome confirmation after a day of seeking and discussing.

In practical terms, I'm behind the curve in terms of applying to schools, which limits my opportunities for Fall, but even if I have to go to another Community College up there for a semester before transferring to a 4-year, I'll do it.

In terms of seeking financial aid, scholarships, loans, etc, IT'S ON! There's a lot to get put together in a relatively short amount of time, but it's all in God's hands. I'm trusting Him to work things out and I'm trying (somewhat successfully) to not run around like a chicken with my head chopped off.

It's crazy to think we'll be moving 6-7 months from now. And if I do go to SFSU, I could end up starting school the day after our first anniversary.