Over the past few days I've been feeling a lot of different things... Dread.... Fear... Excitement ... Restlessness.
It may not seem like a huge change is happening in my life, but I'm going back to school (for the umpteenth time) next week and it's brought up a bunch of different things to consider. One of my friends told me that I'm making things too complicated. Perhaps I am, or perhaps in my life it truly is a complicated matter. I don't want to end up on the wrong path and have my actions affect both my life and the life of my husband.
Anyway, now is the time of year to apply for Financial Aid (FAFSA, CalGrant, Scholarships, Loans, etc, etc) and I've never been able to really do that since I wasn't considered "independent" enough and my parents weren't willing to give their financial information so I could properly fill out applications.
So I'm finding myself having to answer questions as to whether I will be in school Fulltime or Parttime in the 2007-2008 school year. How the heck do I know? Since we got engaged nearly a year and a half ago, our plans have changed fairly significantly. Between now and the Fall, things could change again, depending on what God's got in store for us. What should I be working towards?
Nathan and I are going to have a chat this weekend and take some time to really pray and discuss where we want to go. I don't want to be 30 by the time I get my degree unless that's part of God's plan somehow (please no!!).
And so here we are at a point of deciding whether to take a risk and both go back to school fulltime, at the same time, and trust God to provide the financial means to do this, or does God have something else in store for us? If God wants us to go on this adventure with Him, are we willing to truly seek His voice and take the plunge?
It's a scary thought, and to work towards it will require both work (saving money, applying for financial aid) and risk (moving to an unknown area, trusting in God to provide finances and part-time jobs), but at the same time it's exhilarating to think about what God may have in store for us if we run after His plans and purpose for our newly minted marriage.
Yikes!!!!
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3 comments:
You're truly in a difficult spot. I'm 34 and married at the age of "almost" 21. I never finished what I wanted to in my education. I'm still trying to figure out how to go about finishing. I've learned that as you look back on your life the greatest regrets are those of "inaction". If you don't act on your passions, you'll look back on life and they will supply you with the greatest regret. Just my thoughts. :) God give you wisdom as you seek Him in this matter.
Thank you for your encouragement. I definitely relate to the regret of "inaction" more than anything. At the same time, I have seen how those situations have caused blessing (I met my husband when I went back to school after a break...although that was more directly associated with an "action" moment I suppose).
Anyway, I have a feeling that we may jump in and take a risk. We're both young (I'm 23, my husband is nearly 22), and I feel that now is a good time to take the risk to follow those passions that God's given to us, especially as they overlap and interconnect with each other (we're both musicians, but on different ends of the spectrum and in very different capacities).
I have elements of education which I still want to return to. In some ways action of one kind has supplanted action of other kinds. Choose the good thing, and go for it.
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